In divorce, you always end up with less than you started with. Parties usually see themselves as owning all of the assets together, but after a split they will only have access to around half and may have lost a small fortune in legal fees. The best answer is to be open, straightforward, and accept a reasonable deal to avoid the time, expense and trauma of contested proceedings.
Child contact should, wherever possible, be settled by mediation and on the basis of what is best for the children, not the perceived rights of the parents to ‘own’ equal time with them.
Agreed settlements are always happier settlements. Do your best to reach a fair deal. If the other side refuses, take the case to court and listen to your lawyer and the Judge.
And move on. You will have got your life back. Don’t underestimate the power of letting go of resentment and blame. Your new life can be better.
By Emma Dunkley, Senior City Correspondent For The Mail On Sunday wrote…
Men get a raw deal in divorce cases… according to the women they are splitting from
- Two-thirds of women believe men get the short end of the stick over child access
- Settlements involving the kids or money are also often deemed to be unfair
The image of the poor husband getting a raw deal at the hands of a fortunate ex-wife when their marriage fails may seem like the stuff of sexist cliche.
But men really do come off worst in most divorce cases – according to the very women they are splitting from.
Two-thirds of wives believed it was men who got the short end of the stick when it came to child access.
Less surprisingly, almost 90 per cent of the divorced men felt the same way.
The findings were revealed in a survey of 2,000 divorced people conducted for the law firm Vardags.
About two-thirds of all those questioned thought settlements in their cases were unfair when it came to either the children or the money.
The firm’s founder Ayesha Vardag, dubbed the ‘Diva of Divorce’ after representing a string of wealthy clients, said she thought ‘men generally come away with a pretty jaded view of divorce’ because they have often done nothing wrong to lead to the split.
‘I imagine word gets out, from one divorced man to another, that divorce is ultimately a woman’s game and the odds are stacked against them,’ she said.
‘Men are to play one role: the archetypal antagonist. The uninhibited and lust-driven love rat who only catches small glimpses of his children in between his affairs, boozing and demanding work schedule.
‘And, because of this, women not only get a majority of the assets, but custody of the children too.’
While the genders agree that men get the worst deal on child access, both sides feel hard done by when it comes to money.
Of those who think settlements are unfair, three-quarters of men think they come off worst, while 70 per cent of women think it’s they who deserve more.
Ms Vardag added that men were terrified of the prospect of unfair settlements – but pointed out that judges are not swayed by whether or not a husband had an affair.
We are very experienced in dealing with all things divorce. Contact us here at Penny Raby & Co if this applies to you.