We read with interest a ruling in China and with Mothers’ Day just around the corner here is our take on things! Firstly, the article from BBC News
@Penny’s POV – Helping Mum shouldn’t be just for Mothers’ Day – make this the year the work gets shared by everyone in the family! The papers are full of statistics showing that women have done far more homeschooling, childcare, and housework during the pandemic – even if they were still holding down a full-time job from home. We seem to have gone backward in lockdown, with women automatically accepting that they have to do it all. And their partners letting them!!
Mothers’ Day needs to reset fair sharing of the work, with all the family doing the household chores, and much more childcare by men. It is a sad truth that many men have never looked after their children on their own before they get divorced. And never had to work in washing, homework and cooking over a weekend they have to entertain their kids too. And yet if they had, the divorce might never have happened.
How about having an actual plan or rota of housework, cooking, etc? There are loads of Apps around to plan it – try one called Our Home. And surely each parent should have separate time with the children – the flip side being quiet me-time without them. Just a couple of hours a week would be a good start. Sometimes it is a good thing to ponder what would happen if your partner wasn’t around for any reason – and what would you have to do? And why aren’t you doing it now? Why do you expect them to do it?
So have a great Mothers’ Day but use it to reset who does what so Mum isn’t left on Monday just going back resentfully to the old routine of everyone depending on her – try all depending on each other for a change!
Now for @Mike’s POV on the subject.
Some outrageous suggestions (and even more extraordinary conclusions) from my darling legal Friend Penny (aka SWMBO)! No change there then!! With great respect (and restraint) may I respectfully submit the following from we Guys POV (with due acknowledgment** to Dave Allen RIP). The “balance” so sought after by the Dolls can… IMHO… be more equitably established by some modest changes to the legal and cultural traditions of Guy & Doll relationships… still very much based in the 1950’s.
Firstly, I address the matter of courtship and particularly the Wedding (being the pre-contractual position) as follows: Suggestion 1. The Terms and Conditions of the marriage contract are clearly biased toward the Dolls’ interests. That is self-evident from close inspection of the backside of every Marriage Certificate (in England & Wales jurisdiction). Viz… there are NO T&C’s!! Suggestion 2**. Most marriage ceremonies (for the parties and their guests) would benefit if a digital display behind the celebrant… clearly stated the parties SEPARATE Capital and Income positions in two columns at the start of the ceremony Strictly this should the position at the time of cohabitation… but I digress. Suggestion 3. At the point of “I do…” the digital display would merge the two columns .. then separate again with identical 50/50 split profiles (even Pensions BTW). Suggestion 4. The contract would only be sealed upon THE kiss (no tongues obvs)
As to ongoing behaviours and responsibilities (post-contract) for Guys… I say as below: a) Children – the whole matter of the timing… number… and care of children of the marriage will be the subject of a separate dialogue. It’s very complicated b) Sex – refer to a). It’s even MORE complicated c) Money – Guys! Be aware that a £55-a-week payment to a housekeeper is still MY best “brownie point” value… by far d) Tech – why are we Guys expected to be electricians… carpenters… IT support and mechanic… on call 24/7 e) Housework – refer to c) f) Bins – as per d). The whole matter of waste disposal (TBH most of it generated by the Dolls… cooking… cosmetics etc) viz sortation… bin colour… collection dates, etc… requires an organised and tidy mind. Vital if we are to halt global warming and pollution etc. Priceless work by you-know-who I rest my case… now gotta go… I’ve got the ironing to do!